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THE SERVICE
Glad you liked it. The questions you asked are things that will be answered in the course of the show. Middle Man is in every episode and it slowly becomes as much about him as the people who use The Service. The idea of it as a mini isn't bad but I have a ton of ideas and have 6 completed episodes so far. Thanks for checking it out.
At 9:58 on Tuesday, Mar 2, 2010
THICK AS THIEVES
I think the core concept here is a strong one and very up to the minute. Everyone is panicked about the recession and the motivation of the characters is clear and true. But the character scope on the whole is flat. All the leads are pretty and most of their lines are interchangable with one another. I found I had to remind myself who each of these ladies was because the dialogue didn't do it for me. The amount of typos was a big distraction for me. I know it's hard to catch 100 percent of these things and god knows I don't. But here it sometimes gets in the way of understanding what is going on. Also the end of each act means a commercial break automatically so it doesn't need to be specified. I found looking at Aaron Sorkin's West Wing scripts very helpful in terms of format and overall strong writing. I mean this on a technical level not that you should copy his style. Finally, I think a major overall needs to be done here. I think not knowing who Ryan works for is potentially great and a good driving force for the whole series. The same can be said for his relationship with Carly. But when Ryan talks to himself while looking at Carly's picture, it plays as comical. Which brings me to the question of overall tone. At times this seems deadly serious and at others it's a wild comic romp. You need to focus the tone because the reader needs to be shown that with a very sure hand. Hope this helps.
At 11:43 on Wednesday, Feb 24, 2010
MURDER U
The concept reminds me of Dexter which is one of my favorite shows. But that comparison causes problems as this main character also goes to AA in order to cover up his secret life. There's also a book (and soon to be movie) called Beat The Reaper about a former hit man who is now a doctor in an ER. Taking a look at that book would be a good thing since it's also about killing and medicine. All that aside, I didn't find this premise as interesting as what I've just compared it to. Andy isn't as interesting as he could be given his secret life. Everything also feels very on the nose. People refer to what happened to Andy's parents so much it was like constant reminders. I like not knowing in the pilot because that's a good ball to keep in the air. The teaser was strong and set up that he was a med student and killer nicely. But every other scene played as cliched to me. Andy and Keller's run-in was a great thing to have in the pilot and that was potentially exciting. But Keller's instant request to be killed seemed very movie-ish. It seemed like he would survive even if his arm was out of commission. If he were paralyzed then I might so along with the euthanasia. Finally, the amount of typos really distracted me. Now, I know that a certain percentage of typos is more or less inevitable and that would never be why I like or dislike a script. But it's unprofessional to say "miner" when you mean "minor" or "holly" when you mean "holy." Again, the mistake is one most writers make when they type furiously. And it's SO SO SO hard to catch it even when you proofread because your mind reads how it's supposed to be. But readers in LA get very indignant about stuff like that so I hope you realize I'm not. I see everyone else really loves this so I'm sorry to be the lone voice of dissent.
At 6:23 on Tuesday, Feb 23, 2010
The Star Maker
I agree with RAL that the 50's is absolutely fascinating period to play with because of Mad Men. I pictured Stephanie as a young Natalie Wood who was a child star with a seriously fucked up mother. I think that relationship is potentially the most interesting but approaches Mommie Dearest at times. I think high camp is hit a couple of times and that may zero this out with the networks that can afford to do the period well. The 50's setting should be exploited more than just it being a career killer to be gay. As for the writing, it was clear and economical but things are told and not shown. The description of Lorraine in direction is on the nose when we learn about her soon enough. And when Lance actually says "What have I done?" to himself it's really on the nose. That can be easily be fixed by virtue of simply lifting those things out. I found the amount of sex a little distracting. It seemed odd that Nick tells Lance he can't be gay and then takes him out cruising for boys. That could be a scene that happens in a later episode and since the pilot runs a few scenes too long, it can go. Finally, I admire the scope and courage of doing a strongly gay themed show but this came up a little short for me.
At 11:55 on Monday, Feb 22, 2010
THE SERVICE
No. But I have since seen The Box and I see the comparison.
At 2:03 on Saturday, Mar 27, 2010